I bet all I had on a thing called love
I guess in the end, it wasn't enough

its been sometimes since i write anything in my blog.. maybe i'll start agai soon... with a new theme maybe..

new year and me..

a new year comes again. people been asking what is your new year resolution? well, i got non. i just want to do what i'm doin now better. thats all.. finish all my "walk away" class as soon as possible and go on to the new semester. finding an apartment is harder than it seems. till today i'm still searching for a perfect one. another thing, finding a good housemate is the hardest thing. they tell you that they're in, then the next minute, they're just pull back.

this is my first new year in a foreign land. far away from home. far away from everything that is familiar to me. but i lived my life to the fullest. love my partner as much as i can and be a bad boy at the same time.

i'm trying my best to change myself now that my partner's is around. i try to shut off the other person from my life in a hope that the person would understand.

winter is long and hard. even though i'm used to the extreme cold weather, the feeling of craving for the hot sun plays in me all the time.

whatever life has to offer me this year, i know i'll will live through it.

looking back, laying low

when i look back at how i've been acting, how i tried to get all the popularity and attention, i realised all i wanna do is trying to change what the world of me right now. i wanna grow up to be powerful. i want people to respect me. i want to know there is more of me even when i got nothing else to offer..

till now, when i look around me, its better for me to remain low. i had choosen the wrong path to begin with. stories of me being wild and beyond control have been running around for a while now. most of the time i just wanna ignore it and say "what the hell, so what. let it be lah. it doesnt matter". but i realize that the story will never end. never shall it stop till i retreat back to base 1 and start the way all the "junior" student should..

till the end, i just wanna be me. but till then i guess i just need to lay low. smile and hai to everyone. cause nothing i had is truly mine.

trying to understand the drama...

as i'm writing this, the my world is turning white.. the snows starts to cover the earth slowly everything turns in to nothing but plain white color. today had been a stressful day for me. i started the day late. but still its was a tiring one. the nights a getting longer. my dreams are getting shorter. i miss home so much. i just feel like goin home this winter holiday. but its too expensive. so i just let it be.

the dilemma of being in love while your not is hard enough for me. i wanted you last time but you rejected me. and now you starts to give signals of wanting me back with you. living those days again but a little closer then before. i dont understand why it should b like this. as i moved away from you, i also found somebody else to fill up the space that you had left empty. i'm not sure how the person and what am i to the person. but the person always says that i'm special. a kiss on the forehead and the person will be dancing to joy..

i miss u, i miss home...

i just love the way life works....

with lost and regrets, comes joy and love....

confession for today...

ok, here it is... my confession of the day. today i didn't go to organic class because i hate the teacher and i had this thing about the environment of the organic chemistry's lab..

i'm desperate.. sooo desperate. i'm waiting for the call.. a call that i should receive earlier today. i hate that person so much... its suppose to be our date today. we're suppose to have dinner together today..

things that he said, sticks on my mind. can't take it off my head no matter how i try to.

the days a getting boring. its getting dark real fast here..

i miss home.. i wanna go home...