to be the good in all that is bad...

its really hard to be a good person. to arrange your life and follow all that is good like not to smoke and not to get drunk and drown your system every week with alcohol. still i'm managing myself through all this. its hard to be good i know. i also know that nobody is perfect. that includes me. my mouth speaks the word of evil. but my heart just wants the best and the good.

i know sooner or later i would start smoking again. and i know that tomorrow i the chances of me getting drunk and all drown up in alcohol is there. its hard when everyone around you doing all this and only you trying your best not to stray along in all that..

the life and the love..........

its hari raya and that means i've been here for more then 2 weeks already.. times gose so slow here. i feel like i've been here for almost 2 months already. the days are boring with class flooding down and flushing away my private time. starts my day everyday at 7.30am and end at 7pm.. other times is used mainly for studies and cooking+ eating.. stress is beyond comprehension. sometimes i just feel like throwing up with all the stress build up. still i manage to control myself , keeping myself together every minute. i miss home but not as much as when i first get here. it is much more tolerable now. i try not to smoke and resist alcohol as often as possible. my friends are great. we are much open and relax with each others companion even though our timetable is very much reserve for going to class.

i miss my lover so much. however i feel that everything is to perfect. no fights no arguing. no jealous feeling or what so ever. he trust me and i trust my lover..
i'm scared that i would not be able to "menanggung sebuah cinta yang sempurna"....
that tommorow i would just vanish in this love that i'm in....

raya yang sepi...

raya tahun ni yang paling sepi.... as if it had never happen.. still its there infront of you.. i guess if there never were eid- mubarak, this same feeling will linger in everyone's heart.........

24 hours

starting your day at 7.30 in the morning just to go to class and only finishing at 7 p.m in the evening is the worse thing that could happen when you only have 24 hours a day..

pagi- pagi buta dah kena marah cikgu....

life now and hope for then..

aku hapy dengan keadaan aku sekarang.. just my hostel je lah yang masih menjadi masalah aku hingga ke hari ni. dok kat kursk tak lah seteruk mana pun after a while. so aku harap things would go well and smooth as we all moved on to another level in life.

as for my lover, i miss my lover so much... tak taulah kenapa sejak aku break up dan bersama yang baru ni, aku lebih protective and ambik berat sangat pasal hubungan kita orang. maybe i learn y lesson or mayb i'm just getting older...

kad raya masa kecik...

esok class aku dah start dah.. ever since i reach kursk, nothing much yang aku boleh buat.. the days are gloomy and nothing really interest me that much... bila fikir balik pasal ramadan ni teringat kisah kau sekolah rendah dulu.. kawan kawan semua bukan main lagi bagi kad raya kat best friend lah, girlfriend lah or orang yang dieorg berkenan.. so aku pun tak ketinggalan juga lah bagi kad raya kat member member aku. masa tu, kad raya dengan kartoon lawak tu lah yang paling popular... the funnier it is, the more popular you are at that particular moment. but today, benda benda tu dah takde lagi dah. sekadar sms or email je... those sweet days...

p.s; terkenang zaman kanak- kanak dulu... everything was simple and fun..

getting lost....

whats the odd of you getting lost because you took the wrong bus twice?

here and there..........

well, here i am and there you are...

of u n me....

then it was u, it was him.. now its me..

of u n me....

the time we own is too short.. but somehow it lasted forever...