spring and contemped in time and space

spring is now here!!! its warm and sunny all day.. the sun only sets around 9pm here.. i gain weight which is something surprising for i only have dinner and no lunch or breakfast. sometimes i only have a bun from a lebanon restaurant at the university.

well, to see the sun so bright and the air so warm makes me a bit jealous to the people here. its like valentine's day everyday here. couples walking together, holding hands, smiling at each other, kissing etc... i wish there would be that someone who could share this feeling that i have right now.

living here is like living in a box.. i dont actually know what happen in malaysia no matter how i try to keep up with the news online. i only know that our prime minister had change 2 weeks after the it was all done with. recently, baby kiran actually talk about this "lomo" thing.. what the hell is lomo? oh my god!!! i dont know anything about malaysia!! anyway, babe, im coming home on the 23rd of june. tell me everything that i missed ok.. cant wait to meet you!!!

class is always hectic.. time seems limited here. the spare time you have is used througly for resting and eating.. dinner is always great. apparently im a great cook. never realized that before. missing home and missing everyone...

p/s: im now single... hehehe

bukan lagi kekasih ku...

sedarlah kasih kau bukan lagi kekasih ku.. sedarlah bahawa semua ini tak akan kekal sekai pun kita mencuba untuk menipu takdir. aku cintakan diri mu namun hati ku terus membuntukan semua yang ada di sekeliling ku, termasuk dirimu.. maafkan aku kerana semua ini berlaku saat aku jauh dari mu.... kata ku, rasa ku merentasi benua, maelintas langit, membelah lautan saat melafazkan semua itu pada mu... maafkan aku kerana mempersoalkan semua ini saat dirimu amat memerlukan diriku.. tak akan ada pengganti dirimu dalam hati ku.. kau sentiasa berada dalam hati kecil ini. akan ku semai sejarah cinta kita walaupun telah kabur ditiup waktu... maafkan aku.. kau bukan lagi kekasih ku...

terlanjur cinta- rossa feat pasha...

waktu bergulir lambat
merantai langkah perjalanan kita
berjuta cerita terukir dalam
menjadi sebuah dilema
mengertikah engkau
perasaanku tak terhapuskan

malam menangis
tetes embun membasahi mata hatiku
mencoba bertahan di atas puing-puing
cinta yang tlah rapuh

apa yang ku genggam
tak mudah untuk aku lepaskan

aku terlanjur cinta kepadamu
dan tlah kuberikan seluruh hatiku
tapi mengapa baru kini kau pertanyakan cintaku

aku pun tak mengerti yang terjadi
apa salah dan kurang ku padamu
kini terlambat sudah untuk dipersalahkan
karna sekali cinta, aku tetap cinta

mencoba bertahan di atas puing-puing
cinta yang tlah rapuh

apa yang ku genggam
tak mudah untuk aku lepaskan


hmmmm.... aku pun tak tau apa jadi dengan aku sekarang ni... aku pasti kalau die tahu perasaan aku sekarang ni pada die, pasti lagu ini lah yang paling sesuai die tujukan pada aku... by the way yang mempersoalkan cinta itu ialah aku.. yang bertanyakan tentang cinta itu ialah aku... aku, aku, aku...

its been a week since i last updated my blog.. as all of you know i've started my class 2 weeks ago. now life is very busy especially when the group leader. i need to take care of everything.... sometimes i feel like i am taking care a bunch of kindergarten kids.

well, this week was a mixture of good and bad.. the bad was when i screw up in inorganic chemistry class for the first lesson. then to make things worse, i screw up for the test as well... to make it all up, i need to attend "ultravodka" class.. its like repeating the test but at a special period after class. the best thing is that i get good marks for my anatomy on the features of sternum.. i guess i had always been the "biology" type of person.

spring is starting in kursk. but when it all starts to gt all warm up, suddenly the next day you wake up, the temperature falls dramatically. you end up going to class and breathing out "smoke" out of your nose or mouth.

when i reach here, i realise how lucky we are as malaysian to have a quality water to drink and bath with. the water here is the worse ever... my skin dries up and start to itch on few places. but thank God that i bought an expensive skin lotion before i came to russia. i have to apply the lotion to my whole body just to prevent from my skin from getting dry and itch again.

missing malaysia... KL i miss u so much.. you are the perfect asian sin city...

we are just to hot for the world....- kiran

beaten by russian vodka...

last nite was the best night since i've been in russia. just to let all of you know, here in kursk, there is no entertainment like KL does. no major shopping centre like pavillion or so whatatever. just those small shopping mall that took you only 15min to finish your round. back to my story, last night we went to metro a place that sells stuff in bulk. the place is kinda cheap but it is so far and located in the middle of nowhere. if you dont know, you may probably think is some kind of secret military science lab like roswell of area 51 in the US. so, we went around that place until we reach the liquer department. a huge collection of liquer. cheaper then malaysia. for those addict, its heaven. 4 of us just cant resist the call of the liquers. so we bought malibu. average size bottle since there was only 4 of us.

when we reach our hostel, the news of we buying malibu spreads fast. end up having all 6 of us. so me and a friend knows that its not gonna be enough. we when out to the kiosk near our hostel. bought 3 bottles of turborg beer. however.... while we were entering the hostel door, 1 bottle slip down and broke into pieces... infront of the security. thank god he was a very sporting guy. just tell us to clean it. by the way, the bottle slip from my hands because we were trying to hide it from the security guard. huhuhuhu....

so we went up to my friends room, keep it and feeling frustrated by the accident. then my friend have this wicked idea (well its my idea as well) about buying another bottle. this time we went to europa, a hypermarket near by, to buy vodka... hehehe..

we had our time that night. i was the bartender, mixing drinks for everyone and myself. when the malibu and beer was finih, it was time for the vodka. salt on the right hand and lemon on the plate. each of us had 3 shots each and i got 4 along wit my friend. its not long before i start to feel the real effects of vodka's... after 30 minutes from the last shot, i started to feel like vomiting. 10 minutes later there i am, in the toilet. vomiting... huhuhuhu

my friend help me up, give me some water and helped me to his bed. i slept for about 4 hours, to lazy and drunk to walk... all of them chat until 4.30am when finally i moved to my room... the next day was hell.... major hangover for everyone... mine was the worse i guess.

no matter how it is, it was a great night.... and i wont be doing it any soon...

missing you malaysia...

empty...

my life here in russia had change a lot. i feel like im more matured in handling things in life. im like the big brother to my juniors here. however recently i come to realise that my heart is just empty. i fill most of my free time cooking for others and going from one room to another just to make sure that i can pass the time fast. i woke up in the morning feeling nothing but going to university to start my day. when i come back from university and my rromates are not in i just sat by my table listening to sad stupid music. i feel like im strap to a particular time chain but still able to wonder around the floating and continous time flow...

i dont know whats gonna happen to me. does med school causes everyone to be like this? in the end of the day i could only hope that all this would come to pass soon. missing malaysia and everyone at home and in kl...

missing kiran... we can chat all night and gossip about all things that the world could offer.. "we're just too hot for the world" miss you babe...

cubaan rampasan kuasa!!

dah 2 hari aku start class aku kat med school. dalam masa ni gak aku telah di pilih oleh kawan- kawan aku untuk jadi group leader. tanggungjawab besar tu... tiap minggu aku terpaksa update markah dan kehadiran group kat dean's office. then keje- keje copy handouts and cari class aku gak kena buat. tak best tol lah.

tapi dalam semua kesibukkan itu aku bangga gak sebab diberi kepercayaan untuk memikul tanggungjawab ni. however, ada orang dalam group aku ni memang tak puas hati dengan aku jadi ketua. budak ni dah lah lambat masuk group aku, pastu waktu entrance test untuk biologi die langsung xdatang. entah jam berapa baru nampak batang hidung die terhegeh hegeh kat pintu office madam natalia. die kira bernasib baik gak sebab ada senior tolong die. selama tak de clas ni, die dok hangout dengan senior ni je. sampai tido kat bilik die lagi. dah lah perempuan, tido bilik lelaki plak tu.. ish... ish.. ish... (rasa macam si joyah plak)..

ok, kembali pada citer aku, budak ni sejak start masuk group aku asyik nak control semua member aku. tapi aku bersyukur sangat sebab member aku ni pun tak suka kat die sangat dan nak kat aku gak... hehehe... budak rampas kuasa ni dah 2 hari volunteer nak die jadi ketua konon. then kat class die lah yang cuba nak ambil alih semua keja ketua.. tak pe...tak pe...

walau apa pun yang terjadi aku harap semua akan berjalan dengan lancar semester ni.. aku tetap aku...

p/s; missing malaysia a lot.